How specific can you be when it comes to your life?
How specific can you be when it comes to your life? That’s a question which may sound strange when you ask it for the first time. I look around me and see a lot of young men wanting the world without having to give anything in exchange. All they have is dreams and enthusiasm.
Nothing wrong with that… Dreams and enthusiasm is what makes us go forward.
It’s the rocket fuel igniting your energy reserves to go out there and make it happen.
But wait! If this is the case, how come most people still fail? I mean, look at those older than us. Their dreams eventually turned to… NOTHING.
And yet they have a big ego and a voice in their head that tells them that they did the best they could. I doubt it.
Most people have VAGUE dreams, which transform in vague WORDS.
I want to tell you a few words about one of the decisive factors that make the difference between those who make their dreams come true and those who leave them the way they are: fluffy white clouds in their own fluffy little heads. This factor is ACCURACY.
A great way of communicating complex concepts is to illustrate them through a story. Here it is…
A very big electric plant found out one day that they had a major problem in one of their generators. Despite all efforts, though, they couldn’t find the cause. Eventually, they had to hire a very expensive expert to come and help them out. SO the guy came, walked around through the plant for a couple of days, studied everything carefully, then took a big marker and wrote an X on one of the walls.
– This is the problem, he said. Replace the wiring behind the wall where I’ve put the X, and your problem will be solved.
The plant’s employees started working and, indeed, the problem was where the expert said it would be. After a few days, the plant’s manager received a bill from the expert, for 10 000$, the price for his services. He became very angry of the big sum (even though the expert saved him millions of dollars) and sent a reply back asking for a detailed bill.
The expert’s response was very prompt:
– He is the detailed bill:
For placing the X on the wall: 1$
FOR KNOWING ON WHICH WALL TO PLACE THE X, 9999$
Do YOU know where to place the X-es in YOUR life? What are the problems that are pulling you back the most?
A year ago I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the X-es in MY life had to be placed on the clothing aspect. I realized that people are superficial when they judge other people. So, gradually, I’ve started wearing nicer clothes and.. it worked!
In time, once I grew more mature, I realized clothes were not a means of getting anywhere but rather a part of me. This was the big realization. From that point on, all I had to do was find my own style that I could express.
And I started being specific. What colors to wear, what styles to try, how to combine clothes etc. I decided exactly where I wanted to go in style and with what speed. I tried on a pair of interesting jeans, then some nicer shoes, then a new hair-cut. After a few months, I woke up to be a changed man. One who could not dress generic anymore.
What do YOU want from life? If I asked you, would you be able to write 10 whole pages describing what you want? If not, it means you just have dreams, not goals.
That being said, let’s see how you can become more specific when it comes to what you want from your life.
Step 1: make a decision
It all starts with a decision. If you are superficial about what you want, you will give up along the way. Make a decision and commit to making the changes that you want in your life.
Step 2: write down all the aspects in your life that you want to improve.
1. Do you want to look good?
2. Do you want better relationships?
3. A better job?
4. More money?
5. (add your own wants and needs here)
Decide EXACTLY how you want your life to change when it comes to each of the items above.
1. What style do you want to adopt? How much money do you want to spend on clothes per month? Can you save one our each week to learn about style?
2. Do you want a raise at your job? Think about why you aren’t being paid well already. Is it because the company can’t afford it or because you are not great at what you are doing? Put everything down after you analyzed things…
Write what you think you are already doing well, what you are doing wrong and how you would like it to be in the ideal case. Leave nothing out. The more you write, the better.
Once you’ve established exactly what you want, it’s time to figure out what to do to make every dream come true. What is the first thing you must do? What is the second? Try and see if the plans you make area achievable and if so, at what cost. A time management technique will help you enormously to make use of each minute of your life. We will talk about this on another occasion.
For instance, if you decided to change your wardrobe, take a look at our article about how to organize your closet. Then find out what basic clothing you are missing, then make a small plan on the order in which you purchase them etc.
Make a plan of action. Being specific is essential at this step too. TO make sure you don’t abandon any of your dreams, you must actively and regularly work towards their achievement. If you haven’t done anything for a whole month, it may mean your forgot why you wanted that thing in the first place.
It’s nothing unusual in giving up some of the things you wanted to achieve – new people, new situations, new dreams may come up and change your plans. If however, you end up giving up most of your dreams then.. maybe they weren’t big enough and you didn’t want them THAT BAD. Or, maybe they are too big – so big that they intimidated you once you started working on them
Take action! All you have to do now is start working on them until they are achieved, by strictly following the instructions from Step 4. Here you must keep something in mind. The enthusiasm you now have will disappear in time. What this means is, don’t make plans of going 7 times per week at the gym if your ideal is just to keep fit and healthy – start small, stay committed and time will tell whether this is what you really want (and if so, to what degree).
OK, that was it… almost!
before I let you put the Xes in your life, let me ask you this:
What would a day in your like look like if you followed-through all your plans? How much better you would feel if you did everything you wanted that day?
Let me tell you… you’d go to sleep and couldn’t wait until next morning to do it again.